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The Perfect Happy Family: Chapter 3

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PHF: Chapter 3

I came around a while later to James splashing my face with water from a spritz bottle. My eyes were blurry and I felt like I had a really bad hangover. “Why does my head hurt so much?” I asked wearily. Somehow I had blocked all sounds because James had been screaming at me the whole time.

“Are you okay?!” James yelled at me.

“Whoa! Not so loud, dude” I responded feverishly.

“I slapped your face a couple of times but you wouldn’t wake up. I was about to call mom and dad….” James’ voiced trailed off.  So that’s why my head hurt so much, I thought to myself. Why hadn’t I woken up? A slap to the face would surely wake me up but James said he hit me a couple of times.

“So, I didn’t move or anything when you hit me?” I asked James

“No, it was weird. You lay there like a dead body.” He responded with a concern look on his face.

“Well I’m not dead, see!” I joked even though I was actually perplexed by what had happened.

“Did you eat?” James asked.

“Uh, yeah” I lied.

“So what were we talking about before I fainted?” I asked.

“I told you I was planning to marry Mark” James said with a smile on his face.

“You can’t marry him. You can’t.” I hissed.

“I thought you’d be happy for me! I guess I was wrong.” James murmured.

“You really think this is a good plan? You know what they’ll do to you at school?” I screamed. Suddenly, my bedroom door drew open and mother rushed in with a scowl.

“Shut up and go to bed!” she shushed at us. She then turned and walked back to her bedroom. We waited until we heard her close her door. James got up and headed towards the door also. I grabbed his arm.

“You can’t tell anybody about this. We’ll be ruined. You’ll be ruined.” I whispered in a harsh tone.  He just looked at me then shook away from my grip. I watched him as he walked to his bedroom to the other side of the house. No one could ever know that my brother is a gay, I thought. We would be the laugh of the town if anyone ever found out. Oh, the tragedy.  So there and then I made it my mission to be my family’s keeper. My mother is an adultery, my father is a cross dresser, and my brother is a gay. It was all too much for one day and I threw myself on my bed without changing into my pajamas. I hold my family’s secrets like the government keeps theirs. It was two in the morning by the time I feel asleep but I didn’t sleep for long. I had to wake up early for school three hours later. It was a typical Monroe morning. Father was already at the clinic, mother was exercising downstairs in our top of the art gym, and Clarisse had already made breakfast for me and James.

“James is not going to school today” Clarisse said as I walked into the kitchen.

‘What’d you mean?” I responded. “He was fine last night.”

“Well he told me he won’t be going to school today” Clarisse retorted in an annoyed tone. I retracted back up our marble steps as fast as I could to James’ room. I didn’t even knock-I just burst in.

“Yeah, see you later” I caught him saying to his phone before he hung up.

“Knock much?!” he yelled at me.

“No, you know me. Miss no manners” I mocked. “Why aren’t you going to school?”

“I’m sick.” He said with a facetious cough.

“Loser” I said as I walked out of his bedroom and made my way back to the kitchen. When I got back to the kitchen Clarisse was jumping up and down with giddiness.

“I got good gossip!” she yelled.

“What?” I ran to her with intrigue.

“Miss Sahib found panties not hers under her bed. She’s angry with Mr. Quinn!” Clarisse gushed. My heart stopped. Those were mother’s panties.

“So, is she kicking him out?” I asked Clarisse.

“I heard she wants to know the woman’s name so she could kill her” Clarisse exclaimed. Clarisse was all about the drama and neighborhood gossip. She never revealed her sources; she was smart like that. A few seconds later the door bell rang. I went to get the door but stopped in my tracks in horror when I saw that it was Sane Sahib. Did she know? It would be an insult to injury in Sahib’s case because she was one of mother’s closest friends. I regained my posture and attained all the courage I could muster as I opened the door.

“Hi” I said with a shaky voice. Sane just looked at me through her dark brown eyes. She was crying. Her usually flawless golden brown hair lay messy around her shoulders. She was a complete mess in her ripped blue jeans and stained white t-shirt.

“Is your mother home?” she sobbed.

“Uh….” I murmured but was interrupted by mother.

“Hey, oh honey, come in” mother gestured at Sane to come in. “What’s wrong?”

“Quinn cheated on me and won’t tell me with whom!” Sane screamed.

“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that” mother said to Sane while comforting her. I looked at mother in disgust.

“Don’t you need to be off to school?” mother asked me.

“Yes, of course!” I replied and ran to get my book bag. I couldn’t believe what I had just witnessed. My mother was sleeping with her friend’s husband and didn’t show any remorse. How could she be so vile? I wondered.  As I walked out my house I saw Mr. Quinn heading towards me.

“You have some nerve” I hissed at him.

“Me. What about your mother?” he asked seeming appalled. “What about your father?”

“What you mean my father?” I asked.

“I know your father’s secret” Quinn smirked at me. “Your father is a cross-dresser” he laughed.

“You wouldn’t dare” I threatened.

“Or would I? Don’t test me child.” He retorted. I then knew I had to get rid of him.

“What do you want?” I asked

“Let’s just say you keep your secret and I’ll keep mine” he responded. There was no way I was going to trust him with such a huge secret. I had to get rid of him one way or another; even if it meant taking drastic measures. He had to disappear. He had to die because no one is suppose to know but me. No one can ever find out the truth about my family.

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Dear Jamie

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Dear Jamie

Chapter: 1

 

I try to think of something to contest. My passion for her was rather unexplainable. She came out of nowhere into my life but due to circumstances I had to leave her. It hurt me more than anybody could ever know; the pain was great. Our story; our love will forever be sacred in this vintage journal I took from my little sister, Emma. A string of words I conveyed to express the things I think and project the right effect. These memoirs are what keeps me from forgetting her; Oh my Jamie.

I was a young lad of 17 in 1939 when I had met Jamie. Father was a marine so we moved a lot. We had moved six times by the time I was nine years old. Finally, we settled in a small town in Maryland named Hancock.  It resides in Washington County with a population of less than 2,000. It is also located on the western part of Maryland and only 2 miles wide. At first, I hated it because there was nothing much to do there, but when I met Jamie everything changed.

“Why of all places do we have to end up here?” I asked impatiently to my father.

“You know the answer to your own question, Richard” my father replied.

“There’s nothing here!” I yelled as I stormed up to my room from the kitchen.

“Oh, dear” I heard my mother call out.

“Turn on the radio!” I heard Emma scream. My mother obliged to her request; then we heard it- Nazi Germany had just invaded Poland.

“Germany invades Poland!” said the announcer through the scratchy sounding radio we had propped up on the tile kitchen table. I ran back downstairs to see if it was really true what I had just heard.

“Is it true?” I asked to no one in particular.

“Oh my god” my mother gasped as she put her right hand to her mouth.

“You’d think they come here?” Emma asked.

“If they do try-they’d be sorry” my father responded with a cool look in his eyes. Then the kitchen back door opened and a woman about my mother’s age burst in followed by a younger girl about my age.

“Did you hear, Martha?!” the older woman asked my mother.

“Yes, I did, Bonnie. Its unbelievable.” my mother responded.

“Father is in shock. We have family there.” said the younger girl. I had no clue who these women were. I suppose because I was always locked in my room since we moved here, oblivious to my mother’s rapid friendships with just about everybody that lived in this ghastly town. Nevertheless, I was hypnotized by the younger girl’s beauty. She had dark brown hair than ran to her shoulders and the most beautiful green eyes. Well, they were actually green and grey. She had this silky caramel skin and a smile that could light this whole town. I’ve never been one to fall in love but I was falling for this girl even though I didn’t even know her. I mean she was just so gorgeous.

“Hi, I don’t think we’ve met. You must be Richard. I’m Jamie,” the beautiful girl smiled at me.

“Uh, yeah. I’m….I’m….Richard,” I stuttered. God do I have to be such a dork, I thought. However, to my surprise she smiled at me again.

“Nice to meet you, Richard” she said. “So I’ve heard you’re enlisting in the army”

“Who said that? My mother, of course.” I said exasperated.

“She doesn’t want you to get hurt, that’s all” Jamie said.

“It’s my life. I do what I want.” I told her.

“Ok, Mr. Macho man.” Jamie joked. I tried not to smile. Our parents were now sitting in the living room drinking tea and eating corn bread while intently listening to the radio.

“Hey, do you want to head out to the porch? It’s such a nice day, today.” I asked Jamie.

“Sure,” she responded with a grin.

“You do smile a lot. People might think you’re simple.” I teased.

“I’m happy and there’s nothing wrong with being happy, right?” she said with a smirk.

“No there’s not,” I told her as I opened the door leading to the front porch. We each took a rocking chair to sit in and talked for a while. She said she wanted to be a lawyer someday, travel the world, and have a lot of kids.

“How many you want?” I asked

“Oh, maybe 4. Three boys and one girl,” she said while she looked at her watch.

“Shoot! Its 5:30 and I was supposed to be at the Constance residence twenty minutes ago to babysit their kids!” she yelled. “I have to go” and then she ran down the porch steps. As she ran she yelled out, “Bye, Richie!” I watched as her silhouette disappeared around the corner and did I mention she had an amazing body.

The Origami Cupcake

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The Origami Cupcake: Chapter 1


Mother never stayed for long. She always came dressed in her exuberant outfits and never matching high heeled shoes. “Flats are for ordinary women. I’m not an everyday woman,” she would say. Father let her do whatever she wanted. He never said no to her because he was afraid she would leave if he ever did.  He bent to her every whim and once drove from our home in South Jersey to Brooklyn to get her a cheesecake. She only ate Junior’s cheesecake and nothing else. You see mother grew up on the upper east-side of Manhattan. She is the daughter of a very successful and rich broker. You’d think she’d marry to a rich man but to her parents’ and her surprise she married my dad, Henry.  Henry was a server at this Italian restaurant called Vinnies when mother met him. He didn’t have a rich family like she did and had to work two jobs to pay for college.

They met one day in September of 1965. Mother had decided that she would go out to eat with her friends to eat after her last class. Her parents were very over-protective of her. They didn’t want her roaming around the city without a body guard with her. She hated being followed by a steroid using huge dude that scared her more than the strangers her parents were afraid of.

“Sasha, let’s go to Vinnies,” her friend Carmen suggested.

“We can’t go to Brooklyn, dweeb, my mother will freak!” my mother scolded.

“Oh c’mon, Sasha; It’ll be fun,” her other friend, Julia, begged.

“We always have fun at Vinnies. All those cute guys in Brooklyn; you know you want to go,” Carmen teased.

“Ok, ok. I give in,” my mother raised her hands in defeat. They took mother’s limo to Brooklyn. Indeed, she had a fabulous life. She didn’t know that this trip to Brooklyn would change her life forever. When they finally arrived at Vinnies; mother was having second thoughts about breaking her mother’s rules.

“Relax, S” Carmen told my mother.  Vinnies wasn’t an extravagant restaurant. It was pretty low-key but with an old touch feel. Inside it looked like one of those old diners with the tile floors and walls. It was pretty authentic and the cool spot for college kids. Everybody knew about Vinnies.

“Hi, may I take your order?” Henry asked my mother and her friends.  When he saw her he was so hypnotized by her beauty that his hands started to shake. Mother and her friends just stared at him. He was handsome. He had dark brown hair and blue green grey eyes.

“I love your eyes!” Julia gushed at Henry.

“Yes, they are lovely” Sasha told Henry. They looked into each other’s eyes and smiled.

“So, are you just going to stare at me all day or take my order?” Sasha asked Henry with a smirk on her face.

“Can I do both?” Henry responded.  Sasha blushed.  Julia and Carmen ordered chicken salads.

“I’m not a salad type of girl. The only salad you’ll see me eat is on my hamburger” Sasha said to Henry.  “You’re my type of girl, then” he responded. They both blushed this time. It was 12 pm by the time they left Vinnies.  Henry asked Sasha out sometime that evening but she declined.

“Why did you reject him? He was so cute.” Julia asked Sasha.

“What would my parents think?! They would never approve.” Sasha responded. She really did like Henry, but she knew her parents will never let her go out with him. She could picture it now what they would say.

“Absolutely not, you will not go out with that boy!” her father would yell.

“Honey, he’s just not good enough for you.” Her mother would tell her.  They controlled everything in her life, such as, what she ate, who she made friends with, what she wore. She thought that going away to college would lessen their grip but it just got tighter. They had people spy on her.  It was driving her crazy. Once they put a tracking device on her car and she had found it. To teach them a lesson she put it on this hooker’s car. Her mother went crazy when she thought her daughter was in Harlem.  As my mother remembered this she smiled. It was the most fun she’d had in weeks. She didn’t regret coming to Brooklyn and eating at Vinnies. She loved being with her two best friends and meeting her future husband, Henry.

“He was cute…..” mother said to no one in particular. Julia and Carmen looked at each other and smiled. They had never seen their friend Sasha so happy. She smiled all the way back to their dorms at NYU.

Chapter 2: The Perfect Happy Family

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I just ran and ran as tears ran down my face.  The cold wind was like having somebody smack my face repeatedly. I couldn’t believe James was a gay. I mean I have nothing against homosexuals. I was mainly angry at him for not telling me this little secret of his. We told each other everything, like how he hated playing football. He only joined the team because that’s the only way he could get father’s attention. I was furious with mother. She was cheating on dad again and now with Mr. Quinn. If the neighbors ever got a whiff of my brother’s and mother’s secret it would be the end of us. What a tragedy?  When I got home, Clarisse, our nanny, was waiting for me in the living room. She was so angry that I had left without telling her where I was going.

“Where you’ve been?!” Clarisse screamed at me.

“Out for a run…I needed some air,” I said.

“I was so scared. You should have told me you were going out.” Clarisse responded

“I’m sorry,” I mumbled as I ran up the stairs to my bedroom. I was having a panic attack. My life would be over if the word got out that my brother was a gay and my mother was a home-wrecker. Our family would be shamed and we would lose our place and status. I couldn’t let that happen. I just couldn’t. I had to keep us safe; I had to keep my family’s secrets safe. No one could ever know. Suddenly, I heard a noise coming from outside my window. I went to see what all the ruckus was about. As I peered out my window I saw a tall muscular figure trying to get into the basement. I poked my head out to see better and I saw that it was a woman. Well, it looked like a woman. She had long reddish brown hair and was wearing a red sequin dress and black stiletto heels. She had some huge feet, I thought. Then, I put my hand over my mouth in shock when I saw her face. It was not a she but a he; and that he was my father! He climbed into the left backside window that leads into the basement. I don’t think he saw me, though.  I backed into my room again and threw myself on my queen sized bed.

“Oh my God!” I screamed.  My father is a drag queen! This day couldn’t get any weirder. I bet those were my mother’s shoes. Those must have been her new Manolo Blahniks. He was eying them when she brought them from the store last week. I thought it was weird but didn’t really pay any mind to it. We all have big feet. My mother and father have the same shoe size 12. I couldn’t believe what I had seen tonight. I felt like I was in a twilight zone episode or in a circus.

“Please let this be all a bad dream,” I said to no one in particular.

“Hey, honey,” I heard someone say and I turned to see my father standing by the door with a big smile on his face. He still had some red lipstick on his lips which he failed to completely wipe off. I wondered as I looked at him; how could a guy like him be a drag queen? He drives motorcycles for God’s sake! I still couldn’t believe I just saw my father dressed like a girl.

“Hi, dad,” I smiled.

“What have you been up to dear?” he said.

“Nothing much; just went out for a run.” I responded.

“Good girl,” he smiled.  “Well, I’m beat sweetie. Rough night at the clinic, you know. I’m off to bed. Have a good night, honey.”

“Night, dad,” I said. I heard him walk to his room and close the door. A few minutes’ later mom and James came home. Mom went straight to bed and yelled goodnight to James and I. James came into my room while I was eating my pain by way of a bowl of cookie dough vanilla ice cream drowned in whipped cream and chocolate syrup.

“What’s up?” James asked me. I didn’t even look at him. I just kept stuffing my face with ice cream.

“Hey Lisa, What’s going on?” he questioned.

“I saw you. I saw you with that man.” I responded in a harsh whisper. His eyes shot wide like he had just seen a ghost. Abruptly, he drew closer to me and lowered his face close to mine.

“You can’t tell anybody,” he whispered. He was so scared. I felt so bad for him because if kids at school found out he was a gay his life would be over. They will beat him up or worse.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” I asked James.

“I was going to tell you but I needed to be sure….” His voice wandered off.  He then told me how he had been dating the man I saw him with for five years now and that he thought he was the one.

“Five years, James, Five?!” I screamed. “Where did you meet this guy?” I asked. James went on to tell me that they met at this gay club downtown when he was 14 years old.

“His name is Mark,” James said to me. “I love him, Lisa. Dad can never know about this. He will freak especially when he finds out that I’m dating his protégé.”

“Mark!” I screamed. “You’re dating Mark Beyer?!” Mark Beyer was our father’s main man at the clinic. Mark was father’s assistant. There would be blood if dad found at Mark was sticking it to his son. James and I didn’t speak for a while. We just sat there on my bed. Then out of nowhere James grabbed my arm and said, “We’re getting married, Lisa.”  I fainted.

 

 

Ocean Eyes

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Ocean Eyes

I always wake up to the 5 a.m. waves. The sound of them splashing against the rocks by the Murder Dive Cliffs is a peaceful yet scary sound. The Murder Dive Cliffs is where the high school kids jump off from to a world pool of water. It is the scariest yet coolest thing ever. It was the cool spot for all the high school students of Aquatica High. That was until that horrific day in October when six students died and 3 others acquired life changing injuries. They closed off the pathway to the Murder Dive Cliffs and nobody knows exactly what happened but me. I know the secret of the man that came from beneath the ocean.  The memory of him seems so vague now in my mind; it’s like he never existed-just like he said it would happen.

It was my senior year at Aquatica High and I was hoping something exciting would happen for once in this ghastly town. Aquatica would seem like a beautiful place to live but when you hear the stories of all the bad things that happened here you’d run for the hills. People disappear or turn up dead here. There is an abundance of unsolved cases that go back 100 years.  My brother had this theory that there was a monster in the water that took anybody who jumped off the Murder Dive Cliffs.

“I’m serious Jenna. I read in a book about Aquatica that a lot of people had witnessed something taking people under when they jumped off those Murder Dive Cliffs.” My brother said to me.

“Really, Brandon, you actually believe that crap? A sea monster is terrorizing Aquatica. Don’t be silly.” I said. I mean sea monsters only exist in fiction stories and on Syfy TV.  They aren’t real.

“Ok, so let’s jump at night then.” Brandon suggested to me. People who had jumped at night from the Murder Dive Cliffs never came back up. They vanished under those unforgiving dark waters to the uncertainty that is the ocean.

“Fine, but you owe me ten bucks if no ‘sea monster’ takes me under.” I told Brandon.

“You’re on!” Brandon yelled. I had jumped from those cliffs hundreds of times before but for some reason today I had this sick feeling in my stomach. We hooked up with some of my brother’s friend at the climb. It was a cold summer night in August and I was wearing a grey thin sweater with my swim suit underneath and my billabong board shorts.  As we walked up the steep pathway I felt like my heart was going to beat out my chest. My brother looked at me and saw the crazed expression on my face.

“You scared, Jenna?” Brandon asked me

“No. Be ready to fork over those ten bucks.” I responded.

“Dude, you still spreading that hocus pocus crap about sea monsters? My man I love you but you’re crazy.” Nick said to Brandon. Nick has been my brother’s best friend since kindergarten. Couldn’t believe I was spending my day with sophomores. All my friends went to the Benton Cabin at Ruder Lakes.  The Benton Cabin was a senior favorite because it was the infamous “make-out cabin.” Specifically why my parents didn’t let me go; so I got stuck with my brother and his friends jumping off Murder Dive Cliffs.

The cliffs aren’t that scary-they are actually quite beautiful. The view is amazing. I love the water because it is teal in color but tonight they were tar black and menacing.  The waves are a killer though so you must be a good swimmer if you dare to jump these cliffs. The rocks are so soft; almost marble like. However, they are very slippery so you have to grasp at them with your feet so that you don’t fall to your death, hence the name, Murder Dive Cliffs. As we drew closer that sick scary feeling was still tormenting me but I just shook it off.

“We’re here!” Brandon yelled. There were warning signs everywhere. “Unsafe grounds”, “Dangerous”, “Don’t Jump these cliffs”, “Death precedes you if you jump.”  So many have jumped off these cliffs; some have come out with major bragging rights and others aren’t so lucky. I was the first girl in Aquatica to jump these cliffs. My jump was so sick. I even jumped from the highest point on the cliff and did a triple twirl in mid-air. It was my freshmen year and I wanted to be cool. After that, I was so in with the guys at surf practice.

“So, Jenna, are you going to jump or just stand there?” Brandon said to me with a smirk on his face.

“Relax, dude. I’m just warming up.” I responded. Truth is, I was scared but wasn’t really sure why. Maybe because I never jumped these cliffs at night. There was a storm coming and the waves were rough. I climbed higher to the mid-level of the cliff. It’s pretty high; about 15 feet. I counted to three as Brandon and his friends cheered and yelled for me to jump.

“Jump, Jenna, Jump!”  I heard them taunt. I took of my sweater then took a few steps back.  I made for it and sprint for the edge but I slipped, hit my head on the edge, and fell down into the black pit of water. I thought for sure that I was a goner. The water was so cold and it was overwhelming. It engulfed me and I couldn’t get to the surface. I kept on sinking deeper and deeper. Suddenly, I felt something grab by right arm and pull me up. It wasn’t Brandon or Nick or any of Brandon’s friends. It was a man but not quite. He didn’t have legs but a fish tail. His hair was long and glowing red. I was hypnotized by his eyes. They were changing color as he lifted me up towards the surface. One second they were red; the next second they were glowing green. When we got to the surface he slid back down and I got one last look at his fiery red eyes.  I was about to say thank you but he disappeared into the dark waters.

“Jenna, are you okay?!” I heard Brandon scream. I turned to see him and the other guys swim towards me.

“We saw you slip and hit your head” Nick yelled.

“I thought I lost you” Brandon said when he got to me. He gave me a bear hug.

“I did hit my head. I thought I was a goner down there but this man saved me” I said.

“What man? We didn’t see any man.” Brandon said.

“It wasn’t actually a man. He had a fish tail and red glowing hair and multi-color eyes.” I said breathlessly. Brandon and his friends erupted in laughter.

“Are you telling us that you were just saved by a merman?” Nick asked me.

“I know it sounds crazy but that’s what I saw,” I said. Then to all our surprise the merman jumped out the water and for a split second we all got a view of his fish-like body. He looked at us then disappeared again under the dark waters. The boys screamed.

Personal Ad

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Personal Ad

 

            Everyone has a personal ad but some of us are not sure of what we actually want. I mean we have a complete list of criteria’s that our perfect match should adhere to. However, over time we grow and we change. My friend, Lisa, always knew what she wanted. She wanted to marry a rich guy with good hair, taller than her, intelligent, funny, sophisticated, and powerful. She’s one of the few girls in this world that actually get everything they ever wanted. Of course, she’s a complete princess but I still love her. We had met at an orphanage in New York in 1972. It was the worst thirteen years of our lives. We both had been abandoned by our parents and we had nobody but ourselves. We were both five years old when we were emitted into St. Claire Orphanage located in Queens.

            I met Lisa when I was eight years old. I had gone to clean my clothes at the local Laundromat and as I finished loading my clothes into the washer I realized that I had not eaten all day. I didn’t have much money to go and buy myself something good to eat. I hated the food that they served us at the orphanage. They always served us the same thing; smashed potatoes or oatmeal and milk. I couldn’t take it anymore! I wanted a nice big juicy burger so bad. So, there I was looking at my stomach as it loudly growled to be fed.  I turned to see if my clothes were ready and there she was with a big juicy burger in her hand. I guess she saw the ravenous expression on my face.

“Would you like a piece?” she asked. “Its way to big for me and I has hoping to share with someone.”

“I guess I could have a bite,” I responded. She tore the burger in half and handed me a half. It was hot and juicy. As I bit into it my mouth exploded with flavor. I never thought something could ever taste so good. I thought I was in heaven. I savored every bite because I knew this would be my only meal for the day and I licked every single drop of ketchup off my fingers.

“My name is Lisa, by the way” she said. “What’s your name?”

“Jessica” I responded. “Thank you for sharing your burger with me. You don’t know how much it means…..” my voice trailed off. I didn’t want to seem needy. I had prided myself on being self-sufficient.

            “I know exactly what you mean. I had to save for weeks so that I could buy it.” Lisa exclaimed. “I’ve seen you around at St. Claire but always too shy to say hi”

“You’re at St. Claire?” I asked. “I’ve never seen you. Wow.” Who would have thought that I would become friends with the future Lisa Bordet? At 21 she would have married a real estate tycoon and run a successful multi-billion dollar business. At just nine years of age she knew what she wanted but never imagined it would be so magnificent.  I didn’t have her ambition because I was just trying to get by another day. I didn’t know it then but Lisa would change my life entirely. We would embark on a journey that would take us from rags to riches just because there was more to life than just to live.

The Only Exception

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I can hear all their thoughts. I can’t take it anymore. I want the voices to stop. I hear them all. “Mickey,” I heard someone scream my name. I know that voice. I turned around to see Jordan running from across the street. Her golden brown hair glistened in the California sun. She was wearing a blue jersey dress and brown cowboy boots.  I loved that dress on her. Sometimes I wonder how she ended up with a guy like me. Jordan was beautiful, smart, ad kind. She was also studying to be a lawyer at Stanford University and was on the top of her class.

I was a high school drop-out working as a mechanic at Jorge’s Auto body shop.  My father had left my mother when I was 13, so I had to find a job and help pay the bills. Then, mom got sick, so I became the only bread winner and had to quit school.  Jorge is my mother’s best friend and he took me under his wing after father left. He showed me how to fix cars and gave me a job. I owe him everything.  Right now I can’t afford to go to college but I’m hopeful that one day I will. I want to be a writer. I had won awards in school for my poems and short stories. I even got one of my stories published in the local newspaper.

However, I did some stupid things that I will regret for the rest of my life. When father left, I was so angry. I couldn’t believe he did that to us; leaving us broke and all alone. I got in trouble in school for getting into fights, disrespecting teachers, and stealing food. Initially, they had suspended me three times during my freshmen year in high school and gotten detention so many times that I’ve lost count.  I met Jordan while putting in the hours for community service at the school garden.  She was wearing that same blue jersey dress and her hair was blonde then. I’m not into blondes so I didn’t pay much attention to her. Nevertheless, I just wanted to do what I had to do and go home. To my surprise, however, she came up to me while I was trying to avoid stepping on this huge slug while trying to dump the fertilizer into the rolling cart.

“What’s a guy like you gardening?” she asked. I was so startled that I slip and fell back onto the slug.

“Ah, gross!” I yelled.

“I’m so sorry. Let me help you.” She said.

“I think you’ve done enough,” I scolded at her. When I saw her face I regretted how I acted towards her. Of course, she didn’t mean for me to get all covered in dirt.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be cross with you.” I told her.

“Its okay” she smiled. “Let’s start over, okay. My name is Jordan.” she said. “Nice to meet you, Jordan.  I’m Mickey,” I responded.  We spent the day talking about ourselves, laughing, and enjoying each other’s company. I hadn’t laughed in a long time and that was the highlight of my day. I had to work after school and wouldn’t be home till 12pm.  That night everything changed.

There was a gas leak in the stock room. I had smelled the pungent smell while on my way to lunch.  I went inside to check it out. Then the door got stuck and I couldn’t get out. No one could hear me because Tommy had the radio blasting. I banged on the door while screaming my lungs out. The smell over-powered me and I passed out. The next thing I knew I was in the emergency room.  I could hear voices. When I opened my eyes I saw my mom sitting on a chair next to my hospital bed. She was crying. “Oh my poor baby” I heard her say but her lips didn’t move. “Mom” I said.  “Oh, honey!” she yelled out.  “Thank you, Jesus!” I heard her say but I noticed this was not said out-loud. I can hear her thoughts.  No, that’s not possible I thought to myself.  Suddenly, a doctor walked in checking his blackberry.  “Tonight, I’m cheating on my wife with a 21 year old” I heard him think. No way, I thought. I can hear their thoughts.  I thought I was going crazy.  Mother saw the crazed expression on my face and I knew what she was going to say before she said it. “Is he going to be okay? He doesn’t look so good.” She asked the doctor. The doctor came closer to me and smiled. I got a look at his name tag which read, Dr. Skye.  Am I okay? I wondered. “We are going to run more tests on him but everything looks well, though” Dr. Skye told my mother.  “Thank you so much” she cried.  “They just cut off the lights-he forgot to pay the electric bill. My poor baby.” I heard my mother think. Shoot! I did forget to go pay the electric bill. I had been hanging with Jordan that I totally forgot my responsibilities.

I looked at my mother to tell her that I was sorry but her eyes glazed over and she dropped to the floor. All the color had drained from her face.  It was so scary how her eyes just rolled back like that.  “Mom,” I yelled. She didn’t get up. Dr. Skye had yelled for a nurse and they took my mother away. As Dr. Skye walked out I heard him say in his mind; “looks like leukemia.” I just heard his thoughts again. I must be crazy.  My mother has leukemia?! Then I heard them all. All those voices and thoughts integrating in my mind and I couldn’t handle it. “Make them stop!” I screamed. I think I had a breakdown of some sort because nurses came in and forced me down to inject a tranquilizer. Everything faded to black and the voices stopped.

Short Story 5: Black and White Reruns

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Black and White Reruns

 

I saw her staring at me from her 5th floor apartment window.  Abruptly, I lost my balance on the curb and fell backwards onto the street. I lay there for a while nursing my head. When I finally decided to get up; I looked up to the window again, but she was gone. It was a cold Saturday night and I walked home with a heavy heart.

As I walked home, my mind re-played the events that happened that day. I had found out where my run-away good for nothing mother had been living since she had left me when I was only 3 years old. I had been pacing in my apartment, a few times, rehearsing what I would say to her. Eventually, I had put on my leather jacket and walked out the door. Her address wasn’t hard to find; for she only lived a mile away from mine. I was sweating profusely by the time I was standing in front of her door.  I stood there for a while. I thought I was going to black-out. spaceballilovelucy

“Get a grip!” I told myself. I knocked at her door. She opened after several minutes. When she saw me, it was like the color drained from her face. We stood there looking at each other in that inevitable awkward moment. Then to my surprise she smiled. “Come in,” she gestured. Her apartment smelled off cinnamon and tobacco. It was also very messy. She had magazines and books scattered everywhere. I was about to sit down on one of her brown leather sofas but she stopped me. “Don’t bother, this will be a quick visit” she said.  It was quick. She told me that she never wanted to have children. I was just an unfortunate mistake. She said she was sorry but she could never be a mother to me and then she kicked me out. I had pictured this encounter in a totally different way. I didn’t even say a word to her. I just walked out.

I fell asleep on my leather brown sofa that night with clothes and all. I woke up early to black and white reruns. It’s a shame that it wasn’t a dream.  “I hate you!” escaped from my mouth. I couldn’t believe she jilted me like that. The recollections I had of that day faded as the day progressed. I really didn’t cry much. I guess the bottle of Grey Goose numbed my pain. I took a cold shower even though it was 20 degrees outside. I wanted to feel something different. In the kitchen, I made myself an egg, ham, and cheese sandwich and planted my self on the couch as the colors faded from my reality. As the black and white rerun faded to black, so did I.

Short Story 4: Beauty of the Breakdown

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officeromanceBeauty of the Breakdown

 

I fall once again on my already bruised knees. “Why do you cry?” he asks me with his hazel eyes piercing into my eyes. I try not to seem bitter when I respond to his facetious remark. “I’m alright, bloody hell-I’m a mess,” I say with a smile on my face.  He didn’t seem to hear what I said and just walked away. How could he deny me so vehemently? I wonder. I got tired of fighting the tears and left myself be unrestrained.  Somehow, I thought I would completely fall apart or even actually go insane but it was genuinely peaceful. 

It is hard for me to let go of things or people. I’m still yearning for that connection that we lost a long time ago. He found somebody new and parades her around the office like the lead monkey in a circus. Many people advised me that it was foolish to fall for a guy at work, but as the rebel that I am-I did not listen to the warnings. When it blew in my face there was nobody to put out the fire in my heart. I acted like I didn’t care that he cheated on me with a younger woman. Nevertheless, everyone knew I was going to break sooner or later. They wondered. They stalked me with their eyes and haunted me in the bathroom. It was longer than I thought. Months passed and still I kept up appearances.

My roommate Stacy would liquor me up every night. “Drink up baby now-numb the pain,” she would tell me. I would adhere to her request and drink shot after shot of tequila. After getting wasted, I would jump in the pool and think what a tragedy my life was. These mess-ups keep happening like I don’t know what I’m doing. Sixteen years of dating and I have nothing to show for it. Have I not learned anything?! Am I not worthy of love? The pain he caused ran deep like a knife through my skin. I wished I could carve out my heart so it wouldn’t hurt me no more.

One day at the beach, I lay in the sand contemplating my assassination by way of drowning at sea. Obviously, I wasn’t going to go through with it. Suddenly, an epiphany, my realization was vivid. Everything that I had been holding in since that horrific day came out my mouth in screams. I screamed so much that I literally lost my voice and then it started to rain. After the rain stopped, the sun came out and I looked to the sky to see a newly formed rainbow. I hadn’t seen a rainbow in such a long time. It was magnificent. I had to comply with its beauty. I was so afraid of my feelings but that day I learned that there is a beauty in a breakdown.

Hello world and Welcome to the Daily Tales Of Minerva Rapter!

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Short story 1: Loveless in New Jersey
People come. People go. I’ve come to make up excuses for the lack of a social life. Some people may categorize me as being just shy. I’m not really shy. I am perfectly able to articulate and express my thoughts. However, sometimes I just get these severe panic attacks or get really excited for no apparent reason. It just gets so awkward and frustrating when I get that way. I hate to blush so I get all mad when I think a guy is cute because I can’t and don’t take rejection well. Then, of course, this pet peeve of mine backfires and then guys think I’m mean.

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High school was a nightmare but I guess thousands maybe millions of people will agree with my sentiments. I never felt like I belonged because I was so different. I didn’t have money to keep up with the latest trends, so obviously I wasn’t “cool.” I had acquaintances not friends. Guys didn’t find me attractive and reminded me of it every day. They called me “ugly, monster, monkey, he-she”, and many other cruel names. I’ve always been insecure though. All the guys I’ve ever liked since my first crush in 4th grade have rejected me. Sad, right? I’m 21 and never been on a date or had a boyfriend. Infinite humiliation, pain, and anger that weighs my heart down like an elephant on a string. I can blame it on my father who never let me hang out with boys; hence my inability to interact with them and understand them. I can blame myself for letting myself be influenced by his ignorance.
I should have, I would have, I could have but I never did anything. I let myself be socially oppressed by the ignorant beliefs of my father. I don’t even talk to my father; he’s a stranger to me. I know that he was just trying to be a good father and keep me out of trouble, but the consequences of his strict discipline emotionally scarred me. I don’t let anybody in because I’ve been hurt too many times. I have no real good friends so I have to hang out with my sixteen year old sister. How pathetic?! I cry about it all the time. Many times I have contemplated suicide only to realize my own cowardice. I haven’t changed much since becoming a young adult; I think I’ve gotten more unfavorable.
I get mad at myself for liking a guy because the fear of humiliation and rejection torments me. There are contacts on my phone but they rarely call me. I’m the fool always calling hoping for an invitation to party, movies, something… People come and go out our lives everyday. Some we cherish, others we forget, and some just linger. Many people have come and gone out my life and I have yet to cherish one. Loveless in New Jersey-that’s my headline. I got troubled thoughts and the low self-esteem to match. What a catch.