Habits of The Heart

A rock show,

dinner for two,

a place hidden with an epic night sky view,

make it hard to let thy go.

Bourbon,

two rock glasses please,

let the guitar play,

then turn it down,

what do you know about politics?

Competition,

how many books have you read?

Something comfortable,

no games just the important one; Football,

we’re grown up now,

Archer,

sarcasm.

Sit in silence,

Bach? Mozart? Beethoven?

take it all in with a glass of whiskey,

more about how it makes us feel,

of her curves and terrain,

something imagined,

say what you want,

confident.

Not inclined to be coy,

No means NO,

Habits of the heart,

there’s always room for two under an umbrella,

cuff links and ties,

Something useful,

new age Rachel Ray or classic Julia Childs,

wears many hats.

Habits of the heart,

Sons of Anarchy,

on Safari,

get close,

and all the Jazz,

oh the habits of the heart,

attitude for a heavy soul,

read between the lines,

you’re still my first choice.

 

 

Beatriz Bentley: It’s A Boy!

Innocence is taken for granted. Most are rushing to be grown-ups, never taking the time to really enjoy their childhood. Already since entering Black Horse High School, I have spotted 7 pregnant girls. There life is already over.

I’ve had my share of peer pressure but I’m not stupid. Besides most people think I’m gay or they just call me a “Tomboy. I do judge them and I don’t feel bad about it. I am a complicated Catholic. 

I mean sex is off putting, to me , that is. I don’t even know what sex is nor a vagina. I have no interest in it, whatsoever. The River Woods School system really did a number on me. They brainwashed me into staying a virgin for the rest of my life. 

Do you know what happens to a women’s vagina when she has a baby?! No, thank you! I suppose I have the Peter Pan Syndrome where I just remain innocent forever. It calls for concern that I’m not mentally nor emotionally capable of handling or grasping that adult realization. 

I sit here on the East Wing bench, people watching. Soon all these people will get married and have kids. For me, that is not an option. I don’t think I will ever be able to comprehend what sex is. It’s terrifying for one and a complete invasion. I refuse to be part of it. I shall remain untouched and unloved. 

I hear the bell ring signaling my next class. Gym Class! I play basketball with the boys and compete with them on who burps the loudest. Jessica plays with us too but she doesn’t par-take in the burping. 

The guys call me, “Dude” and ask me to join them in weight lifting. That’s how I fell in love with weight lifting. The rest of the day is a blur filled with math, science, history and English classes that I dominated most of the time.

When I get home, my brother shouts, “It’s a boy!” and I’m not offended at all. Nice to see you too, bro. I respond with a smile and head up to my room; just another day being me. 

Beatriz signing out. 

Bill Nye the Science is on right now! Get out! 

Grandiose (1)

(I’m in my head)

 

I’m not crazy, he was real.Image

 

How could he not be?

 

I touched him…

 

Locked in surrounded by the four padded white walls, I long to escape and find him. They say I’m not right and must remain in this awful place. I don’t know how I got in here; they said I did terrible things to people. How could I? I don’t remember.

 

“Elizabeth” someone speaks softly but I pretend I don’t hear them. My eyes are closed because the harsh light hurts my eyes.

 

“Would you like me to dim the lights?” the person asks. It’s a man; I can tell. His voice is soft and sweet just like my Henry.

 

“Yes, please” I respond.

 

“Now, there you may open your eyes” he tells me. I slowly open my eyes. As I look around I realize the walls are not padded here but they are dark. I’m restrained as always by the white jacket and feel the cold from the steel chair. My long unwashed red hair covers my face and soon his warm hands are pushing it back behind my ears.

 

I glance up to see deep sea blue eyes staring at me with such warmth. He has dark brown hair and finely chiseled features. He is wearing an old brown blazer with a blue wrinkled collar shirt, dark wash jeans, and brown boots.

 

“There, now we can start” he gushed as he headed back to his chair a few feet from where I was sitting. I tilted my head to the left as I examined him.

 

“Are you ok? You seem distant.” He asked me.

 

“Yes, I’m-I’m here” I kind of stuttered.

 

“I’m Loren Kauffman; I’ll be your psychiatrist during your time here.”

 

“Why am I here?” I whined.

 

“Yes, they say you don’t remember what you did” Kauffman’s voice trailed off as my mind raced and I went into a trance. It was only for a moment but I saw myself holding a bat as I hit at something or someone over and over. I couldn’t make it out; it was all so blurred. I felt someone shaking me and I lost the image.

 

“Don’t go away without me” Kauffman smiled at me. I completely disregarded what I thought I saw because I couldn’t be sure it actually happened.

 

“So, let’s get started” Kauffman exclaimed.

 

“Tell me about yourself”

 

“A gentleman wouldn’t keep me tied like this. Surely you know this?” I probed.

 

“I’m sorry my dear but I can’t release you from your bounds” Kauffman replied.

 

“I can’t be here, I have to find him!” I screamed.

 

“Find who?” Kauffman asked in an intrigued tone.

 

“Henry” I blushed.

 

“Who is this Henry?” he asked. At first I was reluctant to further discuss the topic but he was willing to listen and I could not pass up the chance of divulging my deep admiration for my precious, Henry.

 

“He’s a gentleman.” I smiled.

 

“Really, tell me more” Kauffman urged.

 

“Well, he is handsome, kind, smart, and funny” I rambled on.

 

“Where did you meet?” he inquired. The question actually startled me because somehow I did not expect it.

 

“It’s a long story” I smiled.

 

“I’ve got a lot of time” Kauffman smiled back. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes as I recalled my first encounter with Henry. Suddenly, I was transported back to that day and so the story begins.

Grandiose

Elizabeth, a young woman, in her early 20’s, moves to New York from England, to become an actor. Becoming an actor in New York, was not going to be easy but for some reason everything was going her way until she met Victoria Quinn. Victoria was Elizabeth’s roommate and she was terribly jealous of Elizabeth’s life. Victoria had a dark past and was keen on making Elizabeth’s life miserable, even drive her insane. It all started when Elizabeth met Henry, the trust fund handsome gentleman that wanted to be an actor. Victoria couldn’t take it anymore, she wanted to take everything away from Elizabeth, and so she started gaslighting Elizabeth and drove her insane. Henry is nowhere to be found and Elizabeth is put into an asylum. The thing is there is more to this story that meets the eye, this had happened before a long time ago before any of them were ever born, in England. It’s funny how history repeats itself. 

Image

However, this time, Elizabeth has the help of a very clever therapist named, Loren. She slowly puts the pieces together.